on my mind
2012-04-19
Do you know the feeling when something awful happens to your friend? The feeling when you can't breath because you know you should be by their side helping them? That's how I feel right now. I feel that I should be in many places comforting my friends.
Just to be there, holding their hand and tell them that everything's going to be alright. But I can't. I feel powerless. I hate to see my friends hurt or sad. It makes me sad and angry. Angry cause I know I can't do anything. That the power isn't in my hands. I try to make them laugh, smile and forget the bad things. But sometimes it just not enough.
When someone of my dearst has a bad day, I feel like it's my fault. Like I may have made them sad or angry. That it's my responsibility to make them happy, and make sure they don't get these days when they feel that everything goes wrong.
So when something bad happens to someone I care about. My world falls apart. Because I failed. I failed taking care of them. And now they're sad. Even if I know it's not my fault, it still feels like it is. It feels like my fault even if someone would get cancer. There's always something I could have done differently. I could have said something, that would have stopped for somethings to happen. It's my responsibility to take care of my friends, and make sure nothing bad happens to them. And when something happens, I feel powerless. Feeling powerless is a feeling I hate. In that moment I feel weak. I wasn't strong enough to protect them. It's alright to feel weak. But in my case, it just isn't. Because Im not suppoused to feel weak. I need to be strong for my friends. I need to be by their side, taking care of them. And I can't be weak. I need to be storng.
I wanna send to everyone that has trouble or something that just isn't going your way, big hugs! You all deserve happy lives. Don't let the bad stuff eat you up. Protect your closest and show your love for your dearest. In the end your gonna remember who was by your side, and who wasn't.
Just to be there, holding their hand and tell them that everything's going to be alright. But I can't. I feel powerless. I hate to see my friends hurt or sad. It makes me sad and angry. Angry cause I know I can't do anything. That the power isn't in my hands. I try to make them laugh, smile and forget the bad things. But sometimes it just not enough.
When someone of my dearst has a bad day, I feel like it's my fault. Like I may have made them sad or angry. That it's my responsibility to make them happy, and make sure they don't get these days when they feel that everything goes wrong.
So when something bad happens to someone I care about. My world falls apart. Because I failed. I failed taking care of them. And now they're sad. Even if I know it's not my fault, it still feels like it is. It feels like my fault even if someone would get cancer. There's always something I could have done differently. I could have said something, that would have stopped for somethings to happen. It's my responsibility to take care of my friends, and make sure nothing bad happens to them. And when something happens, I feel powerless. Feeling powerless is a feeling I hate. In that moment I feel weak. I wasn't strong enough to protect them. It's alright to feel weak. But in my case, it just isn't. Because Im not suppoused to feel weak. I need to be strong for my friends. I need to be by their side, taking care of them. And I can't be weak. I need to be storng.
I wanna send to everyone that has trouble or something that just isn't going your way, big hugs! You all deserve happy lives. Don't let the bad stuff eat you up. Protect your closest and show your love for your dearest. In the end your gonna remember who was by your side, and who wasn't.
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